Mom: How do I unfriend on Facebook?
Me: What, you only have like 8 friends, who do you want to get rid of.
Mom: That’s really none of your business, and I have 40 friends thank you very much.
Me: That’s right, Dad has 8 heheh
Mom: Not for long!
This morning I accidently took Spike’s pill. I feel a little light-headed but that’s about it. I wonder how he feels when he takes it. No wonder he just lays on Jared’s bed all day.
mom: sounds good to me, does he need a birthday dessert??
me: sure, how about a fortune cookie?
mom: i guess only if you are the fortune cookie–hee hee
me: OH MY GOD.
mom: lighten up –jk, jk…………
me: THAT WAS SO GROSS!
mom: why is it so gross, you’re not a little fortune cookie??? you could be a dumpling….or tofu
me: um but not a dessert!
mom: oh you’d rather be the main course??
me: OH MY GOD MOM STOP!
Surprise, I am writing you an email.
I NEED HELP AND SOON, BEFORE I STARVE TO DEATH !!!!
I am guessing that you are wondering how come I’m doing this — it’s just because I am locked into my computer room and cannot get out. I was trying to put a door knob on the door and got started, but the thing went completely closed as I was trying to see if it was going to fit — and now here I am having to stoop so low as to write an email to you to see if you could call someone to come get me out. My phones, of course, are all in the other room. I thought that perhaps you could call Beverly and have her and Howie come over and get me out. If you happen to have Tami’s number then call her.
Anyhow, can you get me out of here. I guess I’ll just play games on the computer until someone lets me out of here. Send me an email to let me know you are doing this for me.
Mom: So what are you doing for New Year’s Eve?
Me: Heading to Cleveland with some friends.
Mom: Are you going to the Flats?
Me: No, probably heading to the Warehouse District.
Mom: Is that in the Flats?
Me: No, it’s in the Warehouse district. [lingering inactivity]
Mom: Is that where they do the meth parties?
Me: What now?
Mom: Meth Parties. I heard there are all sorts of meth parties up in Cleveland.
Me: No, no meth parties.
Mom: Just promise me you won’t go to any meth parties. You can’t handle meth.
Me: I promise.
Me: I was sorting through my closet today and I thought it’s kind of funny that I have “vacation clothes” and “date clothes” when I neither date nor vacation.
Mom: Really??? Do you have “work clothes” and “gym clothes” in there too??? HA HAHHA HA HAHA AHAH A.
Me: Not funny
Mom: Sorry, I couldn’t resist